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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 352 January 17
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2000 17:10:03 -0500
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Celestial Reviews 352 January 17, 2000
Note: I wrote this about a week ago. Then I had to leave town suddenly to
take care of my mother, who was seriously ill. I think I'll be back on track
real soon. If you have sent me reviews or stories, I'll try to catch up in
the next issue. If you want to help out with the reviews, drop me a line.
This Just In Department: In Florida, a Fort Lauderdale phone sex operator won
a "minimal" workers' compensation settlement after claiming she was injured
after regularly "pleasuring herself" at work. Her lawyer said she developed
carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands from masturbating up to seven times a
day while speaking with callers. "She was told to do whatever it takes to
keep the person on the phone as long as possible," said the lawyer.
Second note: Q: What's the difference between a downhill putt and a blowjob?
A: You'll never hear a guy getting a bj say "slow down, stop, BITE YOU
COCKSUCKER!"
Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole week.
Third note: A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They
were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shalt
not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
Fourth note: During an international gynecology conference, an English doctor
and a French doctor were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently.
"Only last week" the Frenchman said "a woman came to see me with a clitoris
like a melon!"
"Don't be absurd" the Brit exclaimed. "It couldn't have been that big. My
God, man, she wouldn't have been able to walk if it were."
"Aah, you English, always thinking about size" replied the Frenchman. "I was
talking about the flavor!"
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
"Psychology" by Michael K. Smith (brother/sister teen sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565173982
"Jane" by CDB (girl fists guy) 5, 5, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565279957
"Ginger" by John Jameson (unselfish hedonism) 10, 9.5, 9.5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=562607536
"For Elise" by Uther Pendragon (family romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.nyx.net/~anon584c/story/elise.txt
"Goodbye Columbus" by Vickie Morgan (fantasy train) 9.5, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978736
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998560
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998569
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998565
"The Pink Bow" by Ink (cherry popping) 8, 8, 8,
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565924744
"My Demon Lover" by Grumbles (answer to a prayer) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564149989
"Pretend" by Al Steiner (cheating) 8.5, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563141013
"'Twas the Day After Christmas" by Lisa & Sharon (FF Xmas romance) 9, 8, 7
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566103937.1
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Mistaken Identity" by Rob Morton (sex with wrong person). Myers: (No rating)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566557410
"Black Susan" by Aceinthe (sex slavery). BillyG: 8, 7, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=560262504
"A Stranger's Pleasure" by Roadkill (ghostly sex). Mary: 7, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559924469
"The Virgin Huntress " by Margie Donnadieu (control). Myers: (No rating)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564880005
"Yoko" by Richard Rivers (cross-cultural romance). Nick: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559292637
"Jan Shares" by Dorsai (older/younger romance). BillyG: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565358695
"Cherry Blossoms " by Margie Donnadieu. Nick: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567054060
"Dirty and Dangerous" by Erin Halfelven (lesbian and hetero sex). Stromer: 8,
6, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805445
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (mm sex & grammar) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567584573
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566830997
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567231454
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567688897
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568495742
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568943851
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569268346
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805440
* "The Black Silk Camisole" by Tiramisu (writer's block) 10, 9.5, 9.5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?423089984
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=423089984
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"Psychology" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith1@bellsouth.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565173982
Sherry is a high school student taking an elective psychology course from a
teacher who is sort of cute. In a random drawing, she receives an assignment
to write a paper on incest, which she perceives to be a difficult topic. Not
being familiar with this newsgroup, she attacks the topic by visiting various
and sundry libraries. She reads and reads, but she feels she is getting
nowhere.
The psychological explanation for her frustration is that the topic is formal
operational. That is, Sherry needs concrete experiences to establish schemata
through which to assimilate current information in order to make appropriate
accommodations in her cognitive structures, which will enable her to engage
in the generative activity necessary to seek equilibration on this topic. But
that must come later in the psych course, and so she turns to her brother for
assistance.
Fortunately, her brother, who is also a hunk, has already taken psychology.
Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for her, the poor guy is reading "The
Mill on the Floss," which was written by a deceased British person of
androgynous nomenclature that is, by a woman named George. Anyway, she
decides that she will interview her friends about their brothers and his
friends about their sisters and him about her or at least some subset
thereof.
To make a long story short, they invoke the No Harm No Foul Rule and they
indulge heavily in the 69 position.
I won't give you any more details. Instead I shall divulge to you a secret
from the popular music of the 1960s. Remember how they used to play records
backwards to get secret messages? Remember the secret words to "Louie Louie"?
Well, the singers and songwriters used an even more devious trick to advocate
incest in the Peter, Paul, and Mary song, "If I Had a Hammer." They hid the
real meaning behind a simple rule of grammar that everyone has overlooked
until now. The key is in the line, "I'd hammer out love between my brothers
and my sisters all over this land." If that statement were about whites
loving blacks and such, then it would be "AMONG my brothers and my sisters."
But it says "love BETWEEN my brothers and my sisters." Ergo, it's incest. QED.
Incidentally, I have a virile brother. I am glad I refrained from having sex
with him during our mutual adolescence, even though I liked him a lot and
still do. This is mostly because we have been able to talk to each other
about our sexual fantasies and activities, especially later in life. I
honestly don't think I could do this with a former sexual partner as well as
I can with a really close friend who knows nothing of the intimate details of
my body. I think I can also feel a lot closer to his wife as a friend than
would be possible if he and I were former lovers.
My point is that there is some basis for the incest taboo that goes beyond
idle superstition and sexual repression. I hope Sherry mentioned that in her
term paper.
Whatever the case, this is a very good story. It's good to see Michael K.
Smith writing again.
Ratings for "Psychology"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Jane" by CDB (freeb75@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565279957
This author inserted the <*> in the heading, asking for a review. I mention
this, because I don't want to appear to be picking on an innocent author.
I think the author has a fairly clear fantasy that he wants to present to us.
I say a "fantasy," because I honestly doubt that he has ever engaged in the
fisting activity that he describes here. I think it would hurt like hell the
way he describes it.
Nevertheless, it's a sexy idea. It just needs more development. And better
grammar might help convey the idea more clearly.
This is a good example of a baseline from which to improve.
Ratings for "Jane"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Ginger" by John Jameson (Jameson1780@altavista.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=562607536
The narrator is a sailor who is a brother-like friend to a beautiful woman
named Ginger, who has never had an orgasm while a guy ate her pussy. He
explains that if he were to do that for her, he wouldn't expect a blowjob in
return. He'd prefer to get off by fucking her brains out after she had a
whole string of orgasms. This is so foreign to Ginger's experience that he
has to explain it again to her and then show her in explicit detail.
This is an excellent story, and I hope to see more from this author.
Ratings for "Ginger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
"For Elise" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).
http://www.nyx.net/~anon584c/story/elise.txt
In this episode of the Brennan Saga the author does his usual good job of
blending together the ordinary and the titillating the forthcoming baptism
of their baby, the fact that Bob's sister is planning to bring with her a
boyfriend whom they don't know and who will stay with them at their house,
breastfeeding the baby while engaging in sexual foreplay, figuring out how to
get Bob and his father to be nicer to each other, and some very pleasant
cunnilingus for starters.
Some authors treat sex during lactation as some sort of weird fetish. This
author treats it as natural and exciting, which was pretty much the way I expe
rienced it myself.
I know I am sounding like a broken record, but what I love most about the
Brennan stories is that they fuck at the weirdest times and I mean that in
the nicest way that is, the most natural times. They fuck after discussions
of economics or history, after discussions about Pop Brennan's management
theories, while Bob is sucking the extra milk out of his wife's breasts, and
while Bob is retelling (as a bedtime story to the baby in the nearby crib)
the story of Mom and Dad's first emboinkment, which occurred during the
camping trip that comprised their honeymoon and which was a topic of a
separate story.
Also as usual, the author inserts what I'll call erudite humor without being
condescending. For example,
"Ooooh," she {the baby} said.
"Non, ma jeune fille," he {Bob} said. "It's not August. It's November. Say
'noh vom brrr.'"
To understand this, you have to know that the French word for August is
pronounced "Ooooh," even though the French spell it in a god-awful way that
gives the distinct impression of pronuncitory impossibility. It also helps if
you can figure out what "Non, ma jeune fille" means, but most readers can
guess that from the context. Even if you don't understand these lines, you
can just skip them and go on with the story. But what I like is the
intimation that people can be both intellectual and sexy and that neither
intelligence nor sexiness necessarily precludes religion.
Anyway, The Boyfriend happens to be a black boyfriend. I often denounce
stories that are labeled "interracial" (or more often "interractial"),
because they give the racist impression that black guys have monster cocks
that white women carve er, crave. This story embraces no such nonsense. The
author doesn't even put an abbreviation for "interracial" in the heading
and this is exactly as it should be. It really is sensible to treat race as
an important part of a person's personality and even as part of the reason
why a person might like another person without resorting to inaccurate stere
otypes. I think I'll nominate this story for Oprah's book club, so that we
can spread this message of love among our brothers and our sisters all over
this land.
So, then, why is the story entitled "For Elise"? It has something to do with
Beethoven's "Fuer Elise," which, in turn, really has a "u" with an umlaut
instead of a "ue" between the F and r. This bagatelle was composed by
Beethoven on a leaf in an album. The manuscript wasn't discovered and
published until 1867, which was after the author was dead and buried. Ludwig
Nohl, who found and published it, appears to have misread Beethoven's writing
of the name "Therese" (von Brunswick). She was the woman Beethoven reputedly
loved, and it was among her papers that Nohl discovered the manuscript. "Fuer
Elise" is one of the very best known and loved short works for piano. It also
appeared in a music box during my Celestial childhood. I'll leave it to you
to make a more complete connection with this story.
Ratings for "For Elise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Goodbye Columbus" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978736
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998560
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998569
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998565
This is another story in the Fantasy Train series. If you've read other
stories in that series, you'll enjoy this one more than if this is your first
encounter with the Fantasy Train.
In this story Vickie Morgan cooperates with a leprechaun to keep Columbus
from discovering America. She does this because American pundits on a.s.s.d.
have been giving her grief over the Britishisms she tends to use in her
stories.
{Incidentally, my opinion, which is the right one, is that it is good for
writers to use their own dialects and to make references to idiosyncratic
minutiae that will be unfamiliar to some readers. This strategy enables
readers to expand their horizons and (sometimes) even to learn something
about people from faraway places, like England, Australia, and even New
Jersey or Canada. However, authors have to be aware of the danger of losing
their audiences by doing this; and so it is usually best to introduce the
"foreign" elements in a context that will enable the readers to enjoy them
rather than be befuddled by them. I think psychologists refer to this as
"optimal discrepancy" people enjoy information that is different from what
they already know, but not so different that they cannot assimilate it
without difficulty.}
Anyway, Vickie naively assumes that if Columbus doesn't discover America, no
one else will. I suppose this is the way people think in Yorktown er, Shire
- Yorkshire. A more plausible thought is that if Columbus hadn't discovered
America, then somebody else would have perhaps the Russians when their
cosmonauts were orbiting the earth.
So Vickie teams up with a leprechaun who assumes her form and fucks Columbus
and he turns the ship around. But then the other travelers on the Fantasy Trai
n remind Vickie that Hans Solo would not exist if America were not
discovered, and so she reverses the reversal.
This is a cute story, but it's not long on sex.
Ratings for "Goodbye Columbus"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Pink Bow" by Ink (inkpost@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565924744
The title refers to a decoration on a young girl's underpants, as the
narrator studies her at a boring Christmas party full of doctors and lawyers.
He is 26, she 16. And so Mom sends Jack to entertain the little nymphet in
her bedroom, no less. So he pops her cherry in a most delightful manner and
then steals her pink bow while she takes a shower. That's not a good idea in
a houseful of New York lawyers . They would have your ass for stealing a
ribbon like that.
The grammar has its awkward moments. In addition, as the disclaimer points
out, in real life having sex with minors is illegal and dreadfully out of
fashion, even if the little vixen flirts with you. Nevertheless, this is an
interesting and sexy fantasy. In reality, I'm a lot more fun now than when I
was a naοve virgin. However, men like to think it would be great fun (for
both parties) to pop a little girl's cherry, and this story romanticizes that
fantasy.
Needless to say, this story reminded me of a related joke. A teen-age girl
had long been infatuated with a popular local disc jockey and finally got to
meet him at the station's open house. When she seductively suggested they
"get better acquainted," he took her into a vacant studio and unzipped his
pants.
"I suppose you know what this is," he whispered.
"I sure do!" she said, grasping it in her hand and putting it near her mouth.
"I'd like to say hello to Mike, Bobby, Cindi, and the whole gang down at
Gino's Pizzeria!"
Ratings for "The Pink Bow"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"My Demon Lover" by Grumbles (grumbles@juno.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564149989
The problem with this story and the ONLY problem, by the way is its
title. A demon is an evil spirit. Secondary definitions from my unabridged
dictionary include a mischievous child and a policeman or detective (in
Australian slang). The word can also refer to a person who displays excessive
energy as in "Celeste worked like a demon to get her reviews done on time."
The young lady who shows up at the narrator's door in this story is anything
but a demon. Maybe the author meant to suggest that the young lady was
mysterious. I dunno; I'm not going to think about it for a while.
What the guy does is open the door on a rainy night, and there's his best wet
dream, asking if she can come inside and dry off. The preceding sentence is
replete with so many double meanings that you ought to be able to figure out
the rest of the plot yourself.
If the author wanted to suggest something spiritual, an "answer to a prayer"
would make more sense than a "demon."
Personally, had I written this story, I would have called it "My Lewd and
Lascivious, Lithe and Luscious Little Lover Lily." But that's because a
little demon inside me persuades me to use alliteration more than I should.
Anyway, you should definitely read this story.
Ratings for "My Demon Lover"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Pretend" by Al Steiner (al_steiner@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563141013
The girl is a flirtatious cock teaser, and the guy is her boss. She'll never
really put out for anyone but her husband; he intends to follow the rules of
propriety in the workplace. But then she gets into trouble by flirting in a
bar with men who become pushy, and he rescues her by pretending to be her
boyfriend. Then he himself becomes pushy in a nice sort of way.
Some of the grammar is awkward, but the problems lie mostly in punctuation.
Ignore them and enjoy the story.
Ratings for "Pretend"
Athena (technical quality): 8.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"'Twas the Day After Christmas" by Lisa & Sharon (BYMSAP@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566103937.1
When you're bi and have had your girlfriend around since college days, you
know that the possibility exists that for one of you, or both, Mr. Right
might someday come along. That's Linda's problem, and Christmas is a bad time
to feel this lonely.
Fortunately she goes for a walk and finds in the woods another lonely and
lovely woman named Claire. Though she admits that she has never been involved
with another woman in the way Linda has been with Sheila, Claire conjectures
that when your heart and soul are hurting, the gender of the person who has
created the hurt doesn't really matter. The hurt is just as real and painful.
Christmas day ends with a sort of melancholy uplift, but the next morning
Claire shows up at Linda's house wearing nothing but a red bow and a smile
under her fur coat. Imagine that. A good time is had by both. It turns out
that the gender of the person healing the hurt doesn't really matter either.
Ratings for "'Twas the Day After Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Mistaken Identity" by Rob Morton (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com), Guest review by
Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566557410
This is a great little story that gives away its secret way too soon. Like,
um... in the title. Durn if that doesn't beat all, cuz the writing is pretty
good through the story, but the suspense is all gone. If I were the author,
I'd honestly want to repost it later with a new title.
If you can guess, our fearless 15 year old bushwacker manages to have sex
with the wrong person. You probably won't have a hard time figuring out who.
In the end, it all works out pretty pat. Give the author some credit for
wrapping things up better than some other writers would have, as the
situation could have been overdone.
It's a good, quick read. The central sex scene is drawn out nicely. Other
than that... it's pretty much stroke material. Similar to what they say in
the Holiday Inn Express commercials, it won't make you smarter, but you may
feel better afterwards.
"Black Susan" by aceinthe_hole@hotmail.com. Guest Review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=560262504
In the words of the author, "...a short, balding, slightly overweight 65 year
old man" wasn't able to establish a conventional romantic relationship, so he
elected to sponsor a 19-year-old black girl from Uganda to a university in
Boston. So where's the sex? Well, there's a hook - to earn her way, Susan
must become his sex slave. Is this accomplished cleverly? Hardly. On Susan's
arrival, the author's seduction carried all the finesse of a blacksmith anvil.
As the story unfolds, Susan simply capitulates to whatever demands that are
put in front of her. In time, it's established that Susan is bisexual and of
course, the author (who remains unnamed) has the pleasure of his live-in black
girl and her girlfriends.
The story unfolds largely by narrative so, aside from the author's
personality - a moderately disagreeable on - we never really get to know the
other players. I found very few points of connection in this tale and while
it may have been satisfying for the author, it fails as a story.
Ratings for "Black Susan"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 5
"A Stranger's Pleasure" by Roadkill (commander_bat@hotmail.com). Guest Review
by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559924469
What have we here? Two voices, one room, one night. And sex. Loads of it.
Okay, so there isn't a story, in the sense of linear progression of events.
But that's not a failure in itself. What we have is a turbo-charged account
of fantasies and desires and intriguingly ephemeral characters. Are they
real, is one dreaming of the other or someone else conjuring up both? If you
want a potted account, it's this: incubus wants succubus and vice-versa. Incub
us gets succubus, and vice-versa. Finis.
What *is* compelling is the ghostly, in-and-out-of-dreams quality. It lies
somewhere in that grey, undefinable, unknowable area between sleep and
awakening, between fantasy and reality. That's really quite delicious, and
its brevity keeps it sharp, focussed and fast.
But the typos! Naval for navel, trust instead of thrust - I counted at least
eight or nine grammatical errors starting with the first line ("the clock
'strokes' midnight"). Unfortunate, especially in story so short because it
does diminish an otherwise promising work. The author tells us this is a
first attempt - might I request that, for the next one (and there should be
one), closer attention be paid to proofing?
Ratings for "A Stranger's Pleasure"
Athena (Technical Quality) : 7
Venus (Plot & Character) : 8
Mary (Appeal to reviewer) : 8
'Virgin Huntress" by Margie Donnadieu (margie_donnadieu@yahoo.com). Guest
review by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564880005
This story is told in a very unusual format. The best I can do to describe it
is to say that it is somewhere between poetry and fiction. It is not your
average storytelling prose; that's for certain.
It's a very short piece by usual standards, and the format chosen was
definitely suited to brevity. It works because it doesn't go on long enough
for the near-haiku nature of the sentences to get old.
Ostensibly, the story is about a trip to a mountain cabin where two people
find they have very different ideas about what sex and love should be about.
Ultimately, the story is about control, but not in the simple-minded S/M or
MC manner you often see on the newsgroups. This is something deeper and a
little more twisted, actually.
The title of the piece may not fit, I think. It doesn't seem to make a whit
of difference if there is a virgin in the story or not. In fact, it's glossed
over. The ending is resolutely bittersweet and incomplete as a reminder that
the story serves as a chance encounter only. For me, and I suspect for a lot o
f readers, this is a bit jarring. But hey, I kinda liked that aspect.
The intro poem is almost a non sequitur. The piece probably could have stood
on its own without it. The poem didn't quite fit the mood for me, but it
doesn't really ruin anything.
I wish I could say more, but to do so would really be to say too much. So if
it doesn't seem too weird for you, give it a try. Believe me, it's different
than the usual thing.
"Yoko" by Richard Rivers (richard_rivers@hotmail.com). Review by
Nick(nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559292637
Firstly, I must apologise both to Celeste and to Richard Rivers for the delay
in producing this review. Life has been generally very busy, but I'm sure I
could have found the time if I'd tried.
I was slightly put off be the coding which said 'Japanese people'. generally
I don't like stories where race is an element. This is not because of high
moral principle, simply taste. I needn't have worried. The fact that the
people, or person, was Japanese was largely incidental to the story. Yoko
might just as well have been Asian or East European or any other non-English
speaker with a different culture, who comes to live in America.
This was a very well written story, with a great deal of depth to it. I have
to confess, however, that there were one or two things that puzzled me. I was
not sure about the ending, for example.
All that said, this is a recommended read for anyone interested in serious
erotic literature. I have no hesitation in giving it three 10's.
Ratings for "Yoko"
Athena (Technical) 10
Venus (Plot/Character) 10
Appeal to me 10
"Jan Shares" by Dorsai (dorsai@mail.com). Guest Review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565358695
The very first thing that needs to be said about this excellent story's
second chapter is that it shouldn't be read until the first chapter has been
visited. Shortly after starting the story Celeste sent to me for review -
"Jan Shares," - it was evident that too much ground work had been laid before
this chapter. The antecedent chapter, "Jan and I," hadn't been posted with
this chapter, but a search in DejaNews fortunately found it. For future
chapters, I'd recommend re-posting the previous chapters as well, for there's
too much vital introduction to miss.
That said, let me get to the good stuff. Dorsai's offering, while very
erotic, is not a stroke story - it's much more. I suppose you might view it
as a sexy, romantic tale that is firmly entrenched in loving and spiritual
tenants. I use the term advisedly - spiritual as in unselfish concern for
higher values which, in this story, are rooted in loving relationships that
embrace emerging sexuality.
The working story line is deceptively simple and to some, off-putting. It
needed be. Dan, the 43-year-old protagonist, develops a tender relationship
with his friend's teenage daughter, Jan. Their slowly emerging sexual
connection is given support by the caring trust that's established between
them long before it escalates sexually. Jan wants to know about sex and
approaches Dan for help. He, with some trepidation and her father's tacit and
as well, expressed permission, begins a slow-as-molasses sexual education of
Jan. More, it's an education in trust and honesty and as well, communication.
Many of us grew up in the non-spoken Braille school of sexual communication
that allowed physicality without verbal presence. Much of this delightful
tale is the antithesis of unspoken groping.
I won't even begin to attempt a summary of these two chapters, the first two
of five I'm given to understand. Suffice it to say that woven throughout this
erotic tale are life's lessons as well as a philosophy of tender, consensual
and loving sexuality. The story's about an older guy and a younger girl but
it would apply to lovers of any age.
Read it. But slowly - a bite at a time. It's well worth the effort!
Ratings for "Jan Shares"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10 (read "Jan and I" first)
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Cherry Blossoms" by Margie Donnadieu (margie_donnadieu@yahoo.com). Guest
review by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567054060
First the nit-picking:
>Maybe she'll be aall the girls would gather around to listen to his words
>and watch him with puppy eyes.
Poor proofing.
>"She's white?!" "Blond?!"
No, 'Blonde'.
But all that is really very petty. In fact, if you ever thought you were good
at writing sex stories, read this and you'll discover you are not. I can't
remember, myself, ever having read anything quite so good.
I've just scrubbed out the little precis I did of this story; I couldn't do
it justice, and the story is short enough. Go and read it.
Dr Spin has recently posted a homage to this writer on assm, I suggest you
read that too.
Ratings for "Cherry Blossoms "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Nick (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Dirty and Dangerous" by Erin Halfelven (Joyce@qnez.com). Guest review by
Stromer.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805445
This story is about a lesbian woman who travels to meet her ex-lover, a
Hispanic girl named Anna. As Anna greets her, she tells us about the last
time they were together, two years before that. On that occasion they had
been to a party, and the narrator got drunk, was raped and then had sex with
a Mexican illegal immigrant who offered her ten thousand dollars to marry him.
As the author says in the story header, it is a true story, but the events
were changed a bit to improve the plot. The rape is shortly described, taking
only four lines, so the story can be read without fear. The lesbian sex
between the narrator and Anna is also poorly described. The author seems to
concentrate her energies in the scene where she meets Pablo - the immigrant -
and has sex with him. But it doesn't work either: the girl is lesbian, has
just been raped and now is having sex with a complete stranger who's just
doing it to escape from the Immigration Department! However, the story works
quite well when you stop thinking about it as a sex story and sees it only as
a story. Probably she, who's ending a relationship, has sex with Pablo
because she needs to feel "dirty and dangerous" again.
Ratings for "Dirty and Dangerous"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot and character): 6
Stromer (appeal to reviewer): 5
* "A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (falkon@netaxs.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567584573
I don't review very many male/male sex stories - mostly because I'm too busy
reviewing stories that involve females. However, when I stumbled across this
little gem, I thought I should share it with you.
The basic idea is that the author uses the story itself (about two guys
having sex) to demonstrate how to punctuate a dialogue between two people.
It's very cleverly done; and if you can keep your mind off the sex (which
should be easy, if you're not a gay man), you can learn a lot from this
example.
Ratings for "A Dialogue Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (Joyce@qnez.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566830997
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567231454
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567688897
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568495742
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568943851
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569268346
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805440
The narrator is a gigolo, I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by
latching onto older women, who like him for his good looks and the sex he is
able to throw their way. As he says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I
approached each woman as an intellectual puzzle subject to physical
manipulation, like one of those multicolored cubes. But things begin to
change one day when he tries to seduce a rich woman who drives a Mercedes. He
finds himself trapped, enslaved; and he undergoes experiences that had never
even occurred to him before.
I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing and
diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I recommend you
check it out for yourself.
Ratings for "Mercedes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Black Silk Camisole" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?423089984
Labeled "A Christmas Gift for Celeste," this story was posted as part of a
contest that solicited stories to comfort me during my hiatus, which was
caused by a computer crash shortly before Christmas. In fact, this story WON
that contest. The splendor of that achievement should not be diminished by
the fact that this was the only entry in that otherwise worthy endeavor.
An aspiring author named Rich Grayson has gone to a Victoria's Secret store
to seek inspiration for a story he plans to enter in an erotic story contest.
The saleslady arranges to meet him at Starbucks during her break. At that
time she will offer him additional inspiration. Unfortunately, instead of
fantasizing about me (the target of the story), Rich finds himself
fantasizing about the saleslady (the target of his sexual energies). When the
saleslady prods <wink>, he describes his general pattern of stories to her,
but admits that he has never actually participated in most of the bdsm
activities about which he writes. As the saleslady's interest increases, Rich
finds it necessary to tell her in considerable detail the plot of one of his
stories. This whets her interest <wink>.
But then, like Cinderella of the shopping mall, the saleslady realizes that
she has been distracted and is late getting back from her break. She leaves
abruptly. What happens next? I'm not going to tell, except to say that the
rest of the story becomes the inspiration for the story the author has been
trying to write.
I'll add that it was a nice present and that it doesn't depend at all on a
Christmas theme. So you can read it for your birthday, or for your midweek
orgy, or whatever occasion you wish.
I wonder if Shakespeare ever thought about this story within a story idea.
Ratings for "The Black Silk Camisole"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
<end>
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