"sysco called, terry's truck
never arrived in ohio."
"shit pork pie, what
happened?"
"i aint sure baby, maybe
she can tell us." sysco barreled up in a lexus minivan. she was
pissed off, very pissed off. she got out of the van, all six foot
three of her, dressed in shorts and a tee shirt that said "kiss
my ass," her hair was even shorter and spiked, and those awful
scars on her face.
"what the fuck are we
gonna do now porkass!" she shouted.
"now, sysco, calm down, we
gotta sit down and think," pork said, in his meagerest voice.
"put some goddamn clothes
on and we will talk mothafucker!" pork scrurried back into the
office.
"you still here mccord?"
she asked.
"yeah, and you'd better be
damned glad i am sysco, you and pork pie are too damn stupid to figure
this out, i think i can."
sysco fumed. "god. let me
kill her, just let me fuckin' beat her to death! little bitch comes
here, starts all this shit, kidnaps my driver's boy!"
"sysco calm down, this
aint gonna solve nothing," pork pie said in a rather serious
tone. sysco cracked up. she started laughing hysterically. pork pie
was dressed in a tux, the tails dragged on the ground, and on his head
was a stove pipe hat that had to be two feet high. a cigar hung from
his mouth. i couldn't help but smile.
"holy bejesus, who in the
motherfuck are you suppose to be?" she asked.
"why, honest pork pie
lincoln, that's who. you told me to git some clothes on." sysco
punched me in the arm.
"mccord, just look at that
crazy son-of-a-bitch, aint he somethin'? goddamn, makes my day,"
she laughed. i laughed too, couldn't help it.
"i should have come out
with my pants off," he said.
"oh god no, i couldn't
have stood it," she laughed.
"that's the first time
i've heard you laugh in twenty years sysco, i didn't know you could,"
pork said.
"oh, fuck me in the ass,
you're the funniest thing i've seen in twenty years," she said.
sysco almost looked human in such a mood. her teeth were white and
straight, and she was almost pretty. pork pie took a deep drag off his
cigar and quoted.
"four score, and twenty
years ago i met this terrible bitch." smoke was rolling out of
his mouth and nose. "puff the fuckin' magic dragon.
sysco chided. "damn, if
you aint a sight." pork pie smiled.
"now that i've broken the
ice, exactly how many dollars worth of shit was terry hauling, sysco?"
"over eight million,"
she answered.
"suuuuey! that's a lot,"
pork pie smiled.
"maybe we could track the
truck on your computer, pork?" i offered.
"idiot," sysco
replied. "they have to key in the code where he stops before it
shows up, don't you know anything mccord?" she spouted.
"sorry, i was just trying
to be helpful."
"you'd have been fuckin'
helpful if you'd stayed at home, mccord."
"yes sysco, i suppose
you're right, i believe that i'll do just that, head home. oh by the
by, take good care of sidney," i said, as i turned to walk away.
"ah, just a moment,
mccord," sysco said, as i walked to the road.
"haven't got one sysco,
gotta find my car." i sniffed.
"you're cryin', aint ya?"
she asked.
"no i'm not."
"you are too, i can tell
mccord, now stop with the tears, you ain't goin' home!" i looked
her straight in the eyes.
"watch!" i said.
"look then, we need ya, me
and pork ass can't figure all this shit out and take care of a kid
too."
"why, my gracious sysco, i
thought you were the smartest son-of-a-bitch on the planet, i was
under the impression that you could figure out anything."
"ok, goddamnit, do you
want me to say i'm sorry?"
"yes!" she came and
hugged me. my nose struck her tits. this kind of felt nice, i didn't
think sysco was capable of emotions.
"hey, can i film this, big
market for ff stuff these days," pork said, and laughed.
"you fat bastard, you'd
better concentrate on my shipment and your truck, me and carlee's ok."
"yeah she's just your type
sysco, rough and tuff." sysco laughed again.
"honest pork pie lincoln,
godalmighty i'm free at last!" she giggled.
"how do your drivers buy
gas, sysco?" i asked.
"like everyone else
carlee."
"what i mean, sysco, do
you give them a gasoline credit card?" sysco looked up at me.
"yes, we do give them a
card, why?"
"those transactions can be
traced."
"she's right sysco,"
pork offered.
"is the card in your name?"
"the company's," she
said.
"i have a friend who can
access that information, at least we'd know where terry last got gas."
"do it carlee," pork
said. sysco nodded. i went into pork's private office and called the
police department.
"hi, is lissell stacey
around?"
"one moment," she
said. i wasn't sure how much i could tell lissell, sysco was wanted,
pork pie was suspect, and the truck contained a lot of drugs woth a
ton of money.
"stacey."
"lissell?"
"oh carlee, god it's great
to hear your voice."
"yours too honey. how are
you?"
"missing you, but doing
fine, where are you?"
"here lissell, here in
louisville, working on a problem, hoped you could help."
"sure baby, anything."
"i, i'm looking for a
missing truck lissell, and i need to know some credit card transaction
information, it's really important lissell, it's sidney's dad."
"oh, is he missing?"
"well, let's just say he
didn't arrive at his destination."
"run amok?"
"hope not, but maybe, the
credit card thing might clear it up."
"is sidney alright, i've
heard a little about him and you this morning."
"he's fine honey, here
with me, sleeping."
"i'll need credit card
information carlee." gulp.
"just a minute." i
ran to sysco. "credit card information, sysco." she handed
me a card.
"they're all the same,"
she said.
i gave lissell the information.
"carlee, he used this in st. louis, mo, yesterday morning, in
biloxie, that afternoon. then in texarkana this morning, and in
phoenix, arizona about an hour ago. looks like he's heading west."
"thanks lissell, do you
have time for me this evening?"
"spend the night, we'll
have dinner."
"gosh, that's sounds
great."
"i have my own house now."
she gave me the address.
"he's in arizona, gang,"
i announced.
"alright," sysco
said. "be right back," she continued as she headed for
pork's office.
"she's not as bad as she
seems carlee."
"sysco?"
"yeah, she was in the
navy, a petty officer."
"our navy?" i smiled.
"i think so, she taught
stuff, i believe."
"what kind of stuff?"
i asked.
"secret stuff."
"is that where she got her
scars?"
"huh, no, the big one was
made with an axe in newark, i think the others are from knives."
"we got him guys, and
thanks, carlee," sysco said, when she returned.
"mah pig truck is safe?"
pork asked.
"yeah, but no terry."
"what!" i exclaimed.
"the truck was empty
carlee, on the side of the road, don't know if terry was hijacked, or
sold and ran."
"sold and ran, if you ask
me," pork pie commented.
"we'll just have to wait
it out," she advised.
sidney and i arrived at the zoo
at five pm. "madam, how nice to see you again," the ticket
master said. rings on every finger, second-to-none. i kissed him on
the cheek.
"great to see you, too."
he patted sidney on the head.
"you're not wearing the
ring i gave you, madam."
"oh, don't worry, i have
it in a safe and secret place, you never can tell, these days."
"it was expensive ya know."
"god yes i know, i love
it." He smiled, showing large white teeth.
"i've missed the zoo,
carlee," sidney said.
"it's a special place,
sidney." sidney started crying, he hugged my waist.
"things aren't ever going
to be be the same, are they carlee?"
"honey," i said, as i
knelt beside him. "things aren't suppose to be the same all the
time, that would make life boring." i kissed his cheek.
"i don't mind being bored,"
he said.
"say, look at that bird
baby, he's new, he's huge, i love him."
"he's an osprey, carlee,
he's not new, they just moved him up front."
"hmmm, what do ospreys do
sidney?"
"they fly around and catch
fish," he answered.
"nice life," i
smiled.
"boring," he said. i
hugged him.
"can i just squeeze you to
pieces?" i asked.
"carlee, i heard uncle
pork pie and miss boling talking about daddy, is he not coming back?"
"i don't know angel, i
don't think he would forget you."
"is he in big trouble?"
"i don't know that either
honey, it's too early to tell."
"hey sport, love your
watch," second-to-none said. sidney held it closer to him for him
to see. "oh yeah, very fine."
"it's not magic though."
"looks like it might be,
to me anyway, somethin' special about it," he said and smiled.
"let's go see the tigers
sidney," i said.
"he's a nice man carlee."
"i know baby, he's very
nice." the tigers were their beautiful selves, the babies were
especially cute. we walked around for over two hours. "would you
like to spend the night with me and officer stacey tonight?" i
asked him.
"the pretty girl with long
red hair?"
"well, the last time i saw
her, it was short, but she was still pretty."
"sure."
|