Turtlemeat69
erotica by Kenny N Gamera

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A Girl That Looks Quite like You - suzee was watching PBS, which was playing the Crossroads Guitar Festive video. Naturally, Eric Clapton got mentioned, as did her ownership of a certain best of CD. Well, the very next day, which we both had off, I was getting romantic and put her disc on the living room system (she didn't notice, she was getting hot and was in the bedroom... well never mind... heheheheh). Anyway, later (because the player was on random/repeat). I got to listen to the whole disc. Cream's Badge is like The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkle; it is loaded with story titles. This line is the one that stuck in my head the most.

The Old Man and the Porch - This was written as part of Anoninsac's 2004 Curmudgeon Story Festival to honour both Denny Wheeler (ASSM moderator, editor, curmudgeon, ASSD gadfly, and all around all round guy) and National Curmudgeon Day. At the time Anoninsac started to recruit for the festival, I was heavily rereading my collection of Patrick McManus and had just purchased his book, The Deer on a Bicycle, which is exactly what it is subtitled to be Excursions into the Writing of Humor. This story is a tribute to his many curmudgeons and to his habit of borrowing from Hemingway. I was trying to write in bad Hemingway. As always with any effect that I attempt, I'm not sure that it completely worked.

Secret Revealed - I was at work, and there was an annoying boy band song on the muzak. The lead singer was whining some lyric about wanting it "that way." Naturally, we know what "that way" means, because we know all about that sex story stuff. In my head, I heard a boyfriend and his reluctant girlfriend. He was begging for anal; she wanted nothing to do with it, because... well, read the story.
It's a flash at 172 words.

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Girl Scout Nookie Sale - Years before I wrote this story, I was visiting Sgt and Mrs Gamera. Mom was in the kitchen making dinner, and Dad and I were watching three idiots proving just that to America on Wheel of Fortune. The puzzle was at a point like _IRL S_OUT _OOKIE S_LE or some such, but those morons couldn't even guess the right letters. Well, I write sex stories so I said, out loud, "Girl Scout Nookie Sale." Dad ratted me out to Mom (she wasn't surprised, I am my father's son).
The idea lingered half formed but when I finally realized that I needed to use Kenny from "Got Beer" as the protagonist... the story fell into place.

Officer Sherry vs. the Out of Control Story Idea and Officer Sherry vs. the Corrupt Moderator - I never planned on Girl Scout Nookies (GSN) as being a shared universe. Honest. These stories were a half an attempt at trying to put a stop to it all. I think they only encourged it.

Girl Scout Bookies - If you can't beat them, join them. I certainly thought that I was done with the Girl Scout Nookies Universe. I had... well... not so much better, but well... different things to do. Nonetheless that March, this basketball thing rolled around and everyone seemed to think it was important enough to bet on. As my co-workers passed around their brackets, a story grew in my... well... not so much evil... hell, who am I kidding... in my evil, little mind. Girl Scouts and brackets. And what sort of prize would you think the Girl Scouts who give out?
No, I'm not proud of what I've done.

Christmas Nookies - Between March and December of 2005 (the year of Girl Scout Nookies), I was writing other stuff. Really, I had a hard drive full of interesting things. I worked on the multi-part Chess Club Sex Slaves. I wrote a couple other stories in the Gil Thrope Universe. I wrote an Officer Sherry story. But I didn't have anything I ready for posting during this time. Christmas rolled around.
I can't remember where the idea came from; it just happened in the shower. I finished it before work and sent it to ASSM that night.

Girl Scout Penguins - I had half a Girl Scout Nookie story that I was going to call "Girl Scout Rookies," but Ball Four already used it. So there I was, a half formed story and no title. Then just this guy wrote "Girl Scout Snooker." There was a nun in the story. Suddenly, I had a title and a hook to hang my half story on. I did borrow a bit from "Intercourse the Penguin," but it's my story so that's okay.