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Crimson Review #028
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"Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow, Don't stop, it'll soon be here ..." -- Fleetwood Mac Did y'all miss me? I know it has been a while, but sometimes life gets hectic, even for Dragons. I've been following, with some interest, the threads (read flamewars) regarding reviews, and such. Even whilst being indirectly attacked as a non-creative moron, I can live with that -- I have thick scales, as any author around here probably should. Normally, I would merely ignore the silliness, but I thought that I really ought to re-iterate my purpose in creating and posting these reviews -- a view from the inside, so to speak. There appears to be some confusion as to why anyone might post public reviews. Feedback. As authors (yes, I do actually contribute original stories to the newsgroups when I'm not writing reviews), most of us desire feedback on our writing, since there aren't really any other measures of success or failure or effectiveness. These reviews are merely my chosen manner of providing that feedback, for I am realistic enough to know that I will neither take the time to write individual notes, nor participate in worthy endeavours such as the Fish Tank. I'm not doing this for some sort of strange power trip; I'm certainly not doing this for the glory -- despite what certain unnamed individuals might believe, reviewing is a lot of work to waste on such trivialities. I anguish over even slightly negative reviews that I must write (ask Denny). Sometimes, even while I don't enjoy writing them, negative reviews are necessary -- otherwise, the reviews become dishonest. I try to remind myself that I'm merely giving feedback to the authors here in the only way I can, but even then, it can be difficult. I believe that most authors *want* the feedback. To be criticised, by association because I choose to review, for actually providing feedback? That's a new one ... but I really don't mind. After all, these are only opinion, including those that denigrate or question reviewers as a population. Having said that, I don't mean to hurt anyone -- I'm really not that kind of Dragon. While it perhaps is not always clear, and I cannot promise anything, if anyone politely requested that I not review stories by them, or requested only positive and/or glowing feedback, I would gladly avoid such stories as best I could. In fact, I self-censor if I notice that a certain author is constantly receiving poor reviews, or takes serious offence to any of my feedback, unless that author specifically has asked for review. It is far too much work to write reviews for authors who only wish to be told how great they are, or wish no feedback at all. While I can't fathom the attitude or even the fragility of ego that causes this, I certainly can be sympathetic to these kinds of concerns by avoiding such stories. Now, these are only my intentions based partially on my understanding gleaned from my double role as an author and a reviewer, but honestly I've never asked. At the risk of extending an already silly flameware topic: Are these reviews desired? Are they useful to anyone? In terms of feedback to the authors involved in these reviews: Is this working? Best wishes, - Crimson +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine alone. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Story Summary: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Watching Shelly -- Kenny Gamera (MFF video) [9,10,10,10] Kalisha Breaks and Enters -- Kalisha Connors (FF,MMFFF,exhib,d/s) [9,10,10,10] The Best Sex You Ever Had -- nuj baf (m/f, wife) [5,7,5,5] The Return of Dacia -- ElSol (MF, Hetero, REPOST) [10,10,10,10] Too Late -- Dryad (Mf, inc, rape, viol) [10,0,10,10] Images : 0009 -- Generic Joe (MFFF BDSM Fdom Voy) [10,10,8,10] Angel of the Night -- oosh (caution) [10,10,10,10] The Snoozer -- Mat Twassel (MF, rom) [10,10,10,10] Reviews: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Watching Shelly -- Kenny Gamera (MFF video) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43121 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gamera/www/ Ken is sitting in a college bar, bored, watching Fred play tonsil hockey with some over-endowed coed. Shelly is due to arrive in ten minutes. Shelly shows up early, and they have a drink before she needs to go to work. Work, for Shelly, means making a website porn video that pays the bills and gets her through her courses. Ken professes not to mind her chosen line of business. However, when Dirk shows up and tells Shelly that the shoot is off, she has to scramble to find another guy to fill in or lose her rent money. No ... not Ken, but what happens when our tonsil jockey Fred is the only guy available on short notice? I really liked this story. My only real complaint is that there might have been a little too much description in the sex (I like a bit left to the imagination), but given the themes, it was appropriate. So, not much of a complaint, huh? What I really liked was the characterisations. Shelly and Ken shone through. The small plot deviations. The details. I felt like I was right there with Ken, watching Shelly along with the world they live in. Kenny (the author) walked a fine line here. It would have been *very* easy to forget about story and slip into heavy sex mode. You know the type -- the guy slathering over his dizzy porn star girlfriend, joining the action at the first opportunity, encouraging her to fuck everything in sight as much and as often as possible. Instead, Kenny found a nice middle ground here, touching on deeper issues in this kind of relationship. I believe Kenny. I care about Shelly, and Ken, and even Krystal and Fred, and for this kind of story -- that's an achievement. Great characters. Different story. Thanks, Kenny. Technical : 9 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Kalisha Breaks and Enters -- Kalisha Connors (FF,MMFFF,exhib,d/s) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kalisha/www/Kalisha4.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43111 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Kalisha/www/ This story is actually part of an ongoing saga, but as Kalisha says in the introduction, it does stand on its own. A very few mortals have been chosen by the ancient gods -- Thor, Luna, Aphrodite (my favourite), Odin, Hades -- you get the idea. Well, when the Chosen of Odin appears in Kalisha's strip club demanding his eye, Kalisha reluctantly agrees to try and retrieve it in exchange for lessons. But finding the lost eye, and enhancing her natural powers in the process, proves to be a scary and fun proposition. I wasn't sure that I was going to like this story, given the story codes, but this is a shining example of why one sometimes needs to read the story, rather than trust in codes. While there is certainly an element of D/S and exhibitionism, it is the muted type that I actually do enjoy in a story. In other words, there is more to the story than sex and girls chained naked to walls. Kalisha tells a compelling yarn here, that certainly passes for erotica, but actually tells a story with plot and character and all that good stuff that I review for. The formatting on the newsgroup copy was a little difficult to read, but that was more likely the ASSTR auto-conversion software. Kalisha drops a couple of words, here and there, but nothing to worry about. We all miss words occasionally. Truthfully, I have to confess that I picked up the story because during my break, I read "Elaine and the Dragon" (which I can only recommend highly as well). I commented privately to Kalisha, but will probably include a public review in a later issue. But I digress. I liked her easy storytelling style, and so I wanted to know if she could pull it off twice. Kalisha can pull it off. (The story, people; focus.) And she does. Sexy and fun. A delight to read. Technical : 9 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Best Sex You Ever Had -- nuj baf (m/f, wife) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nujbaf/www/Bestsexever.txt http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43095 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/nujbaf/www Our narrator is sitting in the same old boring cafe, eating the same old boring food, when a convention rolls in. Service slows down as a huge line forms. Our narrator is in no hurry, so this development doesn't bother him. Suddenly, Joe walks over to the table and asks if he may join our lonely and bored friend. Our illustrious narrator shrugs and agrees, thus forming an instant bond. What is always the first question that a stranger might ask you after being kindly invited to save an hour wait for a table, you might ask? "What is the best sex you ever had?" That's the first question *I'd* expect, anyway. However, our narrator doesn't see anything odd here, and proceeds to relate a sexual encounter with one of his worker's wives in Taiwan. Joe drinks up the story as raptly as one might expect -- awe and desire fairly oozing from his pores. I wish that I could say the same for the casual reader. [ I couldn't believe that I {have} nearly eaten every entrée in this coffee shop/bar/restaurant adjacent to ...] This is never a good sign -- mixed tenses in the very first sentence. Oh well. There are similar technical issues throughout the story, but honestly, they aren't all that serious. Distracting for me, but not everyone is as sensitive to such things. But seriously. nuj baf does write an interesting tale here, even if it does kind of stretch the limits of my willing suspension of disbelief. He describes a fun interlude, male fantasy -- a dull business trip, a disappointing change in plans which turns around into a sexy woman in his bed. The description of the scenes revolving around the sexual interlude are clear and not overly explicit. I would have liked to see a little more character and believability, but for what it is, the story isn't badly written. I have a couple of suggestions for nuj, though ultimately the presentation of the story, of course, is his choice. Nuj relates what amounts to a third person story through a first person dialogue in a crowded cafe to a stranger. I'm not sure what elements this added to the story (maybe a slight exhibitionistic thrill, talking to a stranger?) It wasn't clear from the story, but it seemed to be an extra layer of complexity that wasn't required. As authors, we need to find the best point of view to relate stories, and that sometimes isn't the easiest thing in the world to accomplish. Ultimately, it is nuj's choice, but I think straight third or first person here would have worked better. I suspect the point of this story really was merely an accounting of the fantasy of terrific sex with another man's wife, and in that, it works at least to a degree. With a little more effort at setting and story, I think I would have been more inclined to identify with the character. As it stands now, I didn't feel the same things as the narrator, so for me, it wasn't even really average sex, much less the best sex of my life. However, for others, perhaps those that secretly or openly lust after Taiwanese married women, and would inherently understand the subtext, it might be better. Technical : 5 Eros : 7 Character/Plot : 5 Crimson : 5 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Return of Dacia -- ElSol (MF, Hetero, REPOST) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43125 Author's Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/The_Cycle_of_ElSol/ On a quiet rush hour train, David sits and watches the old men who stare at nothing, swaying only with the motion of the car. For eighteen months, David has travelled this route performing his tasks as a contract IT wizard. That is, until the fateful day, that fifth day of the nineteenth month, when Dacia returns. I don't quite know how to describe this story, it operates on so many levels. ElSol brings to writing what his character brings to the guitar. It is soulful, important, and touching from Dacia's beauty, grace and strength, to Elizabeth's quiet pain, to David's haunting guitar and implicit understanding of the world around him. [ "I think you should consider Michael for the permanent position{.}" I told the IT manager. ] Merely a note to ElSol: I noticed a number of places where dialogue, as above, should have been punctuated with a comma instead of a period. The rest of you, ignore this -- it isn't important. Only the story here is important. This is powerful writing that grips you, and won't let go. The sex is uncommonly heated, and the combination of characters and storylines here are nearly unparallelled. Not a story easily forgotten. If nothing else here, go read it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Too Late -- Dryad (Mf, inc, rape, viol) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/toolate.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43197 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ Connie hasn't had the best life in the world. She's from a small town, and even while she should have had an idyllic life, sometimes small towns have their dark secrets. And so, Connie finds the courage and the bravery to escape. This is unusual style for Dryad. Her stories are usually much, much lighter. This story is heavy, and laden with character and meaning, darkness and hope. It's not an erotic story, nor should it be. That zero below, is actually a compliment. Some stories shouldn't be erotic, and this was one of them. Instead, we get a realistic view into a troubled girl's life, and that's exactly as Dryad intended, and how it should be. Don't be looking here for hot sex -- but if you want a good story ... It's powerful. It's different, and I highly recommend it. It's never too late. Technical : 10 Eros : 0 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Images : 0009 -- Generic Joe (MFFF BDSM Fdom Voy) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/genericjoe/www/images/image0009.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43214 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/genericjoe/www/ On a break from her chores, Amy hears a woman scream. She slips into the hidden observatory, and peeks out to see a naked guy playing the piano, a naked woman bound and perched atop it. You get to read the image to find out what they are doing, and why. I like these kinds of flash pieces, though it is difficult to adequately portray character and plot in so few words. Often, the image is only meant to invoke a quick emotion, or a feeling, like the venerable Suki's images did in times past. I think, given this purpose, that Generic Joe has done Suki proud here, as that is exactly what this image did, at least for me. Sometimes we don't really need heavy character or plot, do we? It's sexy, in its own BDSM-type way. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 8 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Angel of the Night -- oosh (caution) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www/nightangel.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43203 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/oosh/www/ How to describe this story? I always have trouble with oosh stories. They are all different, and new, and exciting, and ethereal. We join Sally who lives with her grandparents. And night by night, an angel joins her. Except the angel ... isn't quite what one might expect. Meanwhile, Granny is dreaming of an angel -- of freedom, and awareness. And Grandpa ... well ... Grandpa isn't quite what he appears. You'll really have to read this story to know what I mean. Oosh has a gift for prose. This story winds around and interconnects in such wonderful ways that one can't help being amazed by the sheer talent behind the words. Yes, be cautious of this story -- as oosh says, don't read it while you are eating dinner. And I tend to agree. I can't believe that I could be so angry and disgusted, and still find a story worthwhile. But oosh knows exactly what she's doing, and it all has purpose. Oh yes. Oosh pulls you along, and doesn't let go, through the worst and the best of humanity. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Snoozer -- Mat Twassel (MF, rom) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43204 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/twassel/www/ Joe and JoJo (how's that for a name pair?) stop off at a garage sale. There, they find an alarm clock -- one of those that have the 'snooze' buttons atop. How I like 'snooze' buttons. Anyway, this reminds Joe and JoJo of their honeymoon when they put that snooze button to good use, and missed a few continental breakfasts along the way. Mat has this way of describing ordinary objects and situations so that they come to life. We can identify with it all, and that makes all the difference in the world. Romantic. Sexy. What else do you want? Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 Editorial Note: Mat did not code this story, nor is he required to. The story codes above are merely an approximation created from the fevered mind of a half-asleep Dragon. Editorial Note (II): This story may only be available for a limited amount of time as a free story. Normally, I don't review stories that have an archive time limit and aren't available elsewhere for free. In this case, I read it before I realised the nature of the post. Be warned that the links to the story may not work in the future. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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