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Crimson Review #022
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"Love is like a bomb, baby C'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman can I be your man ..." -- Def Leppard This should be the last of the Birthday Chocolate stories. If I missed anyone that would like a review, please let me know. Much as I enjoyed reading the chocolate stories, and hope that these last two review issues were valuable, at least in some sense, I fear that I have neglected the more usual fare, and I'm looking forward to reading stories that don't all insist on chocolate as a theme next week. Too much chocolate? How can that be? Not too much, but perhaps more like chocolate overload for a poor helpless Dragon. Back to our regular programming next week. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine alone. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Story Summary: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Freudian Fudgicle -- Dryad (freudian imagery) [10,10,10,10] An Ode to a Chocoholic -- Dryad (poem) [10,10,n/a,10] Chocolate Fudge Sunday -- Uther Pendragon (MF oral) [10,9,10,8] Hot Chocolate -- cmsix (nosex caution) [9,0,10,9] Chocolate and Toffee Pussy -- Sven the Elder (MF experimentation games) [9,8,10,9] The Chocolate Shoppe -- Kenny Gamera (MF oral rom) [8,10,10,10] Tempted by the fruit of another -- Henrik Larson (Flash) [10,10,10,10] Torch Song In Chocolate -- Birthday Nymph (performance) [10,10,10,10] Reviews: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Freudian Fudgicle -- Dryad (freudian imagery) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/freudianfudgicle.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40966 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ Editorial Note: Dryad didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon. Now, I ask you. What can be more Freudian than a lovely girl cooling off licking a creamy fudgicle? I can't think of anything either after reading this flash piece. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- An Ode to a Chocoholic -- Dryad (poem) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ode.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40957 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ Still in fine Freudian mode, Dryad rhymes couplets. A chocolate, as to a woman. Nice rhythm, too. Enjoy. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : n/a Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chocolate Fudge Sunday -- Uther Pendragon (MF oral) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/Gjt/doh_03.htm Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/ It's Sunday, and the kids have been invited out to various groups. Mary, having married into an instant family with Jeremy, is looking forward to the time alone with her husband. When she sees the Chocolate Syrup that her stepson was eating, she gets ideas. Perhaps it is time for a Chocolate Sunday? I have mixed feelings about this story. It's very well written, and probably very realistic. I especially liked the background that Uther gave us -- it helped to establish the characters in context. However, I also found the piece a little depressing. It seemed to focus heavily on the differences between romance and marriage -- and while that's realistic for some, I'm sure, I found the commentary on their relationship curiously passionless, even somewhat while they were in the dating/romance stage. Maybe an artifact of an office romance? I'm not quite sure if that was Uther's intent, but that's what I felt. Maybe there was simply too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of the relationship. It's not a failing unless Uther had intended to portray ferocious passion -- merely something that perhaps I wasn't in the mood for when I read it. As I said, I had mixed feelings about the story. It's very well written, and certainly is worth reading. I just haven't quite figured out if I liked what Uther was trying for. Technical : 10 Eros : 9 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 8 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Hot Chocolate -- cmsix (nosex caution) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40983 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/cmsix/www/ Other works by cmsix apparently can also be found at Stories Online. Well, this one is certainly different. Here we have a serviceman caught in the Vietnam jungle, carrying three half-melted bars of chocolate. How did he get here? Well, chocolate, of course. This is written almost as a stream of consciousness, exposing our hero and the horror in which he finds himself. A warning: it's gritty, and intense in it's own way. Cmsix needs to use more commas, especially for introductory adverbial phrases, but given the style of the piece, and the intent, it actually works well without. It lends a certain ... I don't know ... realism to the piece. Yeah, it's heavy and not really erotica, per se, but that's one of the things I like about this group. We accept pieces outside the box. Besides which: it was different and I enjoyed it. Technical : 9 Eros : 0 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 9 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chocolate and Toffee Pussy -- Sven the Elder (MF experimentation games) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sven_the_elder/www/36%20Chocolate.htm http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40983 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sven_the_elder/www/ Editorial Note: Sven didn't code this story, nor is he required to. Story codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon. How exactly is Sven going to write about chocolate? Hmmmmm? Well there was that one time ... You see, Sam is an adventurous woman, willing to try many things. When she reads about a Mars Bar, a freezer, and a lack of clothing ... well ... Sven and Sam have to figure out the rest for themselves. [ Having peeled off the wrapping {paper I} inserted the already melting but still cold bar - for those of you who really don't know, ... ] Definitely needs a comma after the introductory phrase. I noticed a couple of these errors in the piece. Nothing serious, just a little distracting. The result is a charming 'autobiographical' encounter that is sexy, funny, and simply fun to read. Who knew chocolate bars could be used ... um ... so ... creatively? "It's cold!!" Technical : 9 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 9 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Chocolate Shoppe -- Kenny Gamera (MF oral rom) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gamera/www/stories/chocolat.htm http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/41021 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gamera/www/ Our hero isn't a big fan of Christmas -- or more accurately, not a big fan of Christmas shopping. Neither am I. So, as he is leaving for home from University, he stops by a Chocolate Shoppe to buy some last minute gifts for his relatives. There he meets Beth, a bored clerk who figures out a way to relieve her boredom. Except it's not quite that simple, is it? [ With the student body gone for break, I {was only} car or person to be seen on the short, dark trip to the car park behind the ] Needs an article in there. While the story was gripping and clear -- I loved the setting and the subtle descriptions -- there were a few technical errors dotting the text. Not enough to seriously distract me, but with such a short story they are noticeable. "recept" isn't the same as "receipt", etc. [ I stared back into her eyes and thought about what was happening. I couldn't make myself believe it. It was like a scene from a bad story on the Internet. I didn't know what to say. ] I did laugh at this one; the metaphor surprisingly apt. If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? Having said all that, I really did like the premise and the execution of this story. Kenny's prose really brought the characters to life, and I felt like I was there. And that is far more important than a few minor technical issues, right? Technical : 8 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Tempted by the fruit of another -- Henrik Larson (Flash) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40986 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/henlar/www/ "Just pay the man, and you can have me." "But what if my wife finds out?" Indeed, what if she does? It's short, and fun. (The story, you perverts). Innuendo. Gotta love it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Torch Song In Chocolate -- Birthday Nymph (performance) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/40986 Editorial Note: Nymph didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story codes are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon. Upon a dimly lit stage, a spotlight picks out the Nymph, sitting lazily upon a stool, one foot hooked over the crossbar, the other steadying her. A saxophone carries across the assembled crowd. In a scene reminiscent of a certain Ms. Monroe, our Nymph proceeds to give a birthday present that is as sexy as it is wonderfully liquid. Needless to say, I loved the atmosphere here, and the ever teasing eroticism. Thanks, Nymph. The images will haunt me for a while. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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